Remembering Luna
One year ago today we had to put Luna down. You can read about Luna’s story here. I’ve been meaning to update this story for quite a while. I kept waiting to write it without shedding tears, but in the end that is impossible to do. As I write now, I can feel them forming and plunging down my cheeks.
I know some people can’t really understand how the loss of a dog could be so brutally painful, but I’m here to tell you it just is.
There is no denying the bond that you can have with a pet. Despite knowing that you are going to outlive them, you get them anyway and you love them so much, and they love you a thousand times more. And then you have to say goodbye, and it seems terribly unfair, but you’d never give that time back for the world.
I’ve always been a dog lover. Growing up in Mechanicsburg PA, we owned and bred Weimeraners. We had plenty of land for them and our dog Heidi had 3 litters. It was a phenomenal experience and I’m grateful for that for many reasons.
October 2016 | Gibby was Batman & Luna was a Ballerina, it suited their personalities so much. Miss them a lot.
If one of our dogs ever became ill, my parents would always make that very difficult decision without hesitating, because they didn’t want our beloved pet to suffer. I learned that lesson early on.
We didn’t do that with Luna though. We had just lost Gibson a few months before we found out Luna had a tumor. When the oncologist told us about a canine specific chemo drug that came in the form of a pill which would not make her suffer, we decided to try it. Though I wasn’t willing to put her through traditional chemotherapy, this seemed like a possible solution.
We administered the pills, monitored Luna closely, and were thrilled with the way the tumor was shrinking! For 15 months, we were able to spoil her even more and love her harder, if that was even possible.
Suddenly though, Luna was not feeling well. We thought it was perhaps a virus, but that wasn’t the case. The oncologist saw her few weeks before her normal 3 month check up. We waited anxiously in the car for news.
Then her doctor called us and said “How long have we been doing this, about 15 months? She has done so so well but…the cancer is back, full blown.” He gave us a few options, but we knew we couldn’t take any that would have her suffer, despite wishing from the bottom of our hearts for an alternative diagnosis.
We were given the gift of being with her for the time we had - a gift we felt we gave to her as well. I thanked her for everything, told her I’d love her forever and then she was gone.
Whew! I really have been wanting to write this for a while but I needed time to sort through it and try to get it all out in a way that makes sense and honors Luna’s memory.
Rick and I get the question all the time: “Well, are you going to get another Bouvier?” He says no and I say, we’ll see.
When you’ve had to say goodbye to 5 of these gentle giants over a period of 30 years, it’s hard to know if you can take another goodbye. My heart wants to fill the void, but we travel more now, and it is a nice break to keep it as a future option. We’ll keep you all posted.
As promised, we will love Luna forever, as we love them all - HoJo, Gibson, Wagner, Boucher’, & Luna.
